| Hello Mowgli, Suicide solves absolutely no problems at all. Think of your family and friends and how upset they would be. I was raided at dawn by the police three years ago. They seized my computer although it contained nothing illegal together with a number of books (all legal) and my adress book with numerous phone numbers They took me to a police station and put me in a cell where I stayed for ten hours before they got round to interviewing me. Lunch was nice though. I answered "No comment" to all their daft questions and then they released me on bail to appear at the same station three months later. Even though I knew that there was nothing they could charge me with I spent those three months in a constant state of agitation. When the three months was up I was simply told that there would be no further action. Prison - then years ago I was convicted of indecently assaulting a 15 year old boy and was sentenced to four and a half years inside. When I first went in the prison doctor concluded that I was suicidal and put me into the prison hospital where I stayed for two months. I was hypomanic, not suicidal at all. Life in the hospital wing was very comfortable and from there I went to the Vulnerable Prisoners wing which contained about 300 sex offenders many of them child molesters. They were a thoroughly nice bunch of chaps and there were very few fights. They chucked me out after three years! I remain attracted to boys aged about 13 to 15 but have a Court Order which prohibits me from talking to anubody under the age of 18 without their parent(s) being present. I can LIVE with that. LIFE goes on, Mowgli, and I really do hope you will snap out of your depression. Love, Olly |